Prepoceros

Samson and I make a good roach patrol. He brings the keen ears and I bring the spray of painful death.

Ant & Roach - flavored Raid also works reasonably well on wasps, though it’s probably best to wait until the invader leaves the kitchen before releasing that poisonous blast.

If you want to clean a mirror that hasn’t been touched in more than two years, it’s a good idea to dust it before you get it wet.

I didn’t know a locksmith could make a key just by looking at the tumblers in a lock. I learned this interesting fact after my car key disappeared into the Raging River at Schlitterbahn* (it fell out of John’s velcro-ed pocket somewhere along the 45-minute ride). At the end of the day we called the locksmith, and an hour and 75 dollars later, I had two new keys to my car, inferior to the original key only in their lack of nice plastic heads and the ability to unlock the trunk. I also learned that the locks on my car are just for decoration and serve no practical purpose. It’s nice that no one has been seriously inclined** to steal my old newspapers, broken pencils, or radio.

I also didn’t know that asphalt takes less than a day to set. The parking lot in front of my apartment complex was repaved yesterday morning, and when I got home last night it was open again, cars parked on it and everything.

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If you’re counting on the final exam to salvage your lousy grade, and particularly if you don’t spend as much time studying for the last in-term exam as you should because you figure you’ll have more time to study later, you should make sure there’s going to BE a final earlier than, say, the morning of.

The look on my face right now is priceless.

Upon arriving home, remove your gloves BEFORE you kneel down to greet your dog at the door…unless you like electric kisses.

If you’re making a video to post on YouTube, you should set up the lights EVERY DAMN TIME, no matter how late it is or how crappy you feel.

You never know when you’ll be on national television.

Do not leave popsicle sticks where the dog can get to them. It’s less fun than you might think to wrestle a freaking-out pup to the ground and pry out the shard that’s gotten jammed in the roof of his mouth. It’s also slobbery.

(I’m feeling much saner today, btw. Three cheers for rationality.)

If you make a music video, song choice is important. The editing takes a long. ass. time.

You can’t pick a song you really like, because hearing clips of it over and over and over and over and over will ruin it forever. At the same time, you can’t pick a song you don’t like at all, because it’s guaranteed to get stuck in your head after the first day. But if you have a song you don’t much care about either way, why would you make a video about it? It’s a delicate balance.

UPDATE (1:17AM): Whoops, forgot the link again. By the Bayou is one of my favorite local blogs. I’d say something more interesting about it, but it’s past my bedtime*.

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*Is this excuse getting old yet?

Don’t feed the dog gravy.