Cringe
Last November, as you may or may not recall, I was interviewed over the phone by a pleasant woman for her book on women in science. She told me she’d be writing the book in the spring, and that she’d let me know if she’d be using any material from my interview, so that I could approve it.
I hadn’t heard from her since then, until I got the email today, with the proposed text about me attached. I was expecting to see a couple of quotes from my interview, reworked to get rid of the “like”s and “kinda”s and make them into sensible sentences. But, um, my whole life story is in there. It’s not a long story, granted—maybe 500 words—as not much has happened in my life, but pretty much my entire college experience to-date is there.
In the email, the author asked if there were any changes I’d like to make to the text, in particular, if there were any identifying information I’d like removed. Right now my first name is on it, though I can change it to a pseudonym if I want.
The information in the passage, while it doesn’t specifically name names, is pretty darn identifying, to the degree that anyone who knew me in high school could probably identify me, anyone who knew me in college could easily identify me, and anyone who went to college with me (whether they knew me or not) could probably identify the school.
The passage states, for instance, that I attended a “highly selective college” with a male/female ratio of about 3:1*, where I majored in math and (astro)physics, and that I had a good relationship with my adviser, “a female physics professor.” Each of those descriptions, though they sound general enough, refer to rather rare things. If you’re even vaguely familiar with them, it’s not hard to figure them out.
I got the email this afternoon, and she’d like a reply by next Friday. I haven’t decided what to do yet. I’d be perfectly happy—thrilled, even—to have my real name and story in the book, IF I could control who read it. That isn’t remotely possible, however, so I’ll have to decide how comfortable I am with this story’s being released to the world**.
You’ll notice I haven’t posted the full story here, or even the juicy bits of it. Right now I’m not comfortable posting these details on my PERSONAL blog, where I tell you PERSONAL stories about my PERSONAL life, which might tell you how weird this is for me. (I imagine I’d also be infringing on somebody’s rights somehow.) It’s not even sketchy or racy or hush-hush-secrety . . . it’s just so *specific*, you know?
You don’t. Or maybe you do. Maybe I’m too touchy about this. Maybe I’m not touchy enough. Hmmm. I’ll sleep on it.
P.S. Tomorrow morning, bright and early, I’m playing QUIZ BOWL, bitches! It’s been a long, long time.
P.P.S. I dislike the way I’ve used commas in at least three places in this post. I can’t fix them without doing more rewriting than I have time for (see: “bright and early”).
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* I should also check this number for accuracy. I pulled it out of thin air during the interview.
** Don’t worry, I don’t have delusions of grandeur. I know that only a very few people-who’ve-ever-met-me, if any, are likely to read this book, but there’s always a chance, and once something like that is out of your control, it’s nothing but worries from there on out.
Tags: miscellany
May 19th, 2007 at 8:51 am
Hi. I understand the “so *specific*” part (it’s the ’same’ reason why I freaked out and closed my YT account). And… So, you’re famous (theorem, CNN, coffee reviewer, book “personage”…). Kudos. ..
May 24th, 2007 at 1:21 am
Our year was about 38% female, but I think that was rather unusual and it normally is closer to (but greater than) 30% … so, more like 2:1 (as I write this, I am suddenly doubting my ability to write ratios).
May 24th, 2007 at 3:54 pm
My school had the 3:1 thing except the students in my department were all females. I have no great advice for you but I’ll share my publicity experience. I was asked to be one of 4 students featured in a campus promotional video ‘a day in the life of’ style. I was in the mentality that I had to challenge my fears and shyness and that I was in grad school to do and learn new things so I agreed. Scheduling the taping was awkward b/c the camera had to follow me around campus and to class and such. Ever since the video has been playing in the student Union for all passers to see. I’ve had my students tell me about it, and I’ve had creepy maitanence men suddenly know my name and say they saw me dancing on tv. I am shy and embarassed about the video the way any person would be and I can’t say it improved my life at all…but with that it hasn’t really damaged my life either. I keep going as I always do. So yeah, sleep on it and then go with your gut. I doubt the book will cause an increase in creepy men knowing too much about you.