Set thumbs to ‘twiddle.’ Full speed ahead!
I visited the ENT doctor this afternoon to discuss the details of my pathology report. I figured I’d *finally* learn Larry’s secret identity, and we’d work out treatment (or not) from there.
Ha.
The tests all showed…nothing. On the one hand, this is good because the somethings they would have found were various sorts of abnormalities. On the other hand, it’d be great to have a diagnosis. Quote of the day, from the doc as he poked at Larry: “It’s definitely something.”
We know Larry’s a lymph node, but as for why he’s such a big boy…not a clue. None of the doctors I’ve talked to so far has been able to pin it down definitively, and they all disagree with each other. The two most confident predictions I’ve gotten have been from two family practice doctors who separately (two weeks ago and two days ago) agreed Larry was probably a lipoma; the MRI and pathology reports say he is certainly not. The next step is to dig him out “stat,” which in this case means January 10.
My GP said he thought surgery would be optional, depending on whether Larry bothered me (he does), but the ENT doctor said there was really no option, as cancer (lymphoma) was still a possibility despite no cancer cells’ presenting themselves (a contingency noted approximately every other sentence on the pathology report). I’m not entirely clear on how that works, but hey, who needs knowledge and understanding? I’ll be following a strict ignorance-is-bliss policy for the next two weeks. The truthiness of the matter is that Larry is completely benign. If the “facts” prove my gut wrong, I’ll find out soon enough; no need to fret in the meantime.
So we’re back to this superfun waiting thing. Four weeks and counting. Regardless of the outcome, nailing down an actual date for the surgery makes me feel better. Even if I still don’t know what Larry is, we’re finally *doing something* about it.
Biggest benefit of Larry’s presence in my life so far: learning to take needle sticks without a fuss. I had blood drawn* on Tuesday and didn’t even flinch! Haha!
I apologize for the crappy writing and general sloppiness of this post**. Game night ran late the night before last, and, following the never-fail skip-a-day sleep dep rule, I can barely keep my eyes open at 10:30.
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* A few years ago I added “donate blood” to my list of Things to Do Before I Die, both because it would be a big personal accomplishment and because it would help someone else. At times I’ve seriously doubted I’d ever get up the nerve, but now it’s looking doable.
** Imagine if people could make such lame excuses in their real jobs.
“Oops, didn’t mean to slice your jugular there…guess I shouldn’t have gone out to the club last night.”
“Sorry this test is half-assed, kids—I wrote it while hung over.”
“Apologies for that whole war thing…”
Tags: Larry the Lump