Like a whirlpool, it never ends
This double dose of Wellbutrin is kicking. my. ass.
I started it yesterday, right in the middle of my all-tutoring-all-the-time weekend (which netted me about $300, btw…not bad for two days’ work). Initially I didn’t notice much of a difference, except that I felt strangely calm and at peace with myself, as well as surprisingly not-at-all tired of talking about the SAT, even after teaching the same lessons over and over and over again.
I also felt that, curiously, each day seemed exactly as long as it was. That is to say, precisely one day long. This may not sound surprising, but usually, when you have a day with a schedule that diverges wildy from your average day’s, you tend to say either, “Wow, the time just flew by,” or, “Man, today kept dragging on—I thought it would never end.” But this time, 12 hours felt like *exactly* 12 hours, down to the minute.
Last night when I got home I puttered around on the interweb for a while, then flopped down on the couch and slept for SIXTEEN HOURS. Um, brain? Wtf? I had things to do today, I’ll have you know. I kind of have this job, see, and they expect me to show up at the office more days than not.
At least I managed not to sleep through my 4:00 class, which would have been ridiculous (well, more ridiculous). While I *have* been a little short on sleep lately, it’s nothing too extreme—I’ve been averaging probably six or seven hours a night—so I’m going have to blame the meds for this one. Sixteen hours. Christ.
In class I was mostly okay, except for the mysterious vanishing of my short-term memory. I was listening carefully—I don’t think my attention wandered off even once over the whole two hours—but every time I went to take notes, I found that I couldn’t remember what it was that I’d wanted to write down, or indeed anything at all the prof had just said. Fabulous.
I drove home, feeling a little spaced out but otherwise okay, ate dinner, and did a whole lot of nothing for a while, until all of sudden it dawned on me that I felt sick. Really, really sick. My head was spinning, my ears were ringing, and I felt horribly nauseous. My vision went all sparkly and I broke out in a sweat. More than a wee bit frightening.
It wasn’t quite scary enough to start me thinking about a hospital visit, but I decided that if I *were* about to pass out or have a seizure or whatever, I’d rather not be sitting alone in my apartment, so I went outside to wander around. It took a while, but eventually I ended up at Barnes&Noble, where there was air-conditioning and people and places to sit down. I sat still for a while, and the no-I’m-not-ok feeling slowly faded. My parents called to make sure I was alright. My mom offered to come spend the night, but I told her not to worry about it, that I was doing better.
Now I’m more or less fine. I still have a bit of a headache, and there’s a fuzzy feeling somewhere behind my eyes, but I expect it’ll calm down over time. I could do without the sixteen-hour snooze tonight, though, seeing as how I’ve got class in nine hours.
My shrink said that if the double dose felt like too much, I could do 1.5 instead. That’s definitely the plan for tomorrow—I’d like to be awake long enough to get some work done without feeling like I’ve been poisoned, thanks.
I’ve been lucky with the meds so far. The documentation warns about all these possible side effects, but I’ve been thinking…side effects? What side effects? Now it’s…oh. THOSE side effects. Gotcha.
Tags: brain pills, sleep